awakened

::the adventures of Skippy & Prudence::

dream weaver

When I was a little girl my mother and I could interpret my dreams. Early morning I would wake up and jump into her bed, nestling under the covers. No matter the hour of morning, she would promptly retrieve the worn green hard-cover dream dictionary that she stored away in her nightstand. Sitting there anxiously I would divulge what I envisioned as she peeled through the yellowed and brittle pages, looking up the symbols and reading aloud their meaning. As a child I was so intrigued to hear what my dreams meant... as Masters in Psychology it was a far more than a bonding method for my mother, she could actually discover what was running through her little girl's mind.
Lately I have been waking up recalling more and more dreams. It's been more than 15 years since the times when I could jump into bed and ponder over the dream dictionary with my mother...So now I must settle for Googling Dream Meanings... Nonetheless it is still surprising and exciting to read what dreams mean and locate a common thread between the conscious and the subconscious.

The other day I had adream that I was at a pet store lovingly watching over a box housing small bunnies of all colors. As I was standing there I felt a nudge on my leg and I looked down to find a small and energetic puppy looking up at me. Oh yea- it was a great ream! :)
When I looked up those two elements I found this:
Rabbit: To see a rabbit in your dream, signifies luck, magical power, and success. You have a positive outlook on life. Alternatively, rabbits symbolize abundance, warmth, fertility and sexual activity. The dream can also be associated with Easter time and your own personal memories of Easter. To see a white rabbit in your dream, symbolizes faithfulness in love.
Puppy: To see a puppy in your dream, symbolizes your playfulness and carefree nature. It also represents a blossoming friendship or that your friendships will grow stronger.

Last night I had a dream was a little freakier. All I can remember is standing before a mirror and smiling back at my pearly whites. Then slowly, I began to bleed - I remember being alarmed but not scared... odd.
Teeth: To dream that you have rotten or decaying teeth, forewarns that your health and/or business is in jeopardy. You may have uttered some false or foul words and those words are coming back to haunt you.
To dream that your teeth is gleaming, signifies happiness and fulfilled wishes.

Blood:To see blood in your dream, represents life, love, and passion as well as disappointments.
To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood, signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends.
Mirror: To see your own reflection in the mirror, suggests that you are pondering thoughts about your inner self. The reflection in the mirror is how you perceive yourself or how you want others to see you. You may be contemplating on strengthening and changing aspects of your character.


Of course I don't take these dream meanings literally and whole-heartedly. However but I do find them interesting, especially when they link aspects of my thoughts and life as a common thread. Lately, I have really appreciating and celebrating the value of slowing down and not taking life, and myself, too seriously. I admire those who have perfected the "art of doing nothing"- savoring each moment and enjoying the beauty of imperfection and spontaneity...just letting everything fall as it may. The more I read about love, life, culture, happiness - the more enlightened I feel; realizing my own individuality, balance and happiness..
carpe diem xxoo

Tale as old as time...

This weekend was fantastic! Saturday my family came to visit me and we went out to my favorite place for brunch - Nicks on Broadway. It meant so much for them to drive down here and spend the day with me showing them where I live, work and play. Valentine's Day I felt so sick - but I was still happy! While I was napping Andrew surprised me by not only setting up a chair for my desk, but he also left me a enormous card (I think it was the biggest one ever made) and a stuffed money who makes kissy noises. I was so surprised! I feel so lucky that I have such a thoughtful and caring boyfriend. In the evening we attended Beauty and the Beast - it was so whimsical and so amazing! Even though I felt wretched, I am so happy that I was able to stay for the whole show. The lights, the orchestra, the dancing - it was all so romantic.

I can't seem to stop thinking about the show and the meaning of the story. I think that it is true - that someone can transform to a different person. Some would disagree, coining the term "a leopard doesn't change it's spots..." I strongly disagree. Men and women are not leopards. Throughout the centuries we have evolved - from cavemen to ladies and gentlemen - it's cultural evolution and the beauty of being a human. We have the capacity to mature, to learn and continue to better ourselves to be an individual that we are proud of being.
I have witnessed first hand the transformation man can undergo- how a person can truly change. But, in this instance it was for the worse.
My father was my best friend; We were so close and he knew everything about me. Whether we were running our daily 5 miles, scouting in the woods, fishing, kicking the soccer ball- we were inseparable... Then it all fell apart. He lost his job, distanced himself, and transformed into this stranger... I went off to college but because at-home-chaos I returned the next semester... I felt obligated to live at home and be there for my mother and help my sister cope with her issues. My father and I never regained our friendship. He started drinking more and more. Continued to lie... cheat...steal...etc. He is in the worst place right now and still hasn't reached his rock bottom. I will spare you the details...
It has been 7 years since he changed from my father and best friend to someone I don't even know, someone who I am fearful of... I haven't seen him in years and I don't know if I ever will.
Despite all of the bad that has happened I am not bitter. I reminisce the good times and I am thankful for everything he has taught me. I remember times when I would jokingly ask him why he is teaching me how to change the oil in the truck or cut down trees with a chainsaw, and he would pause and smile, responding, "Because if there comes a day I am not here I need you to be able to take care of the family."
I will never forget his words. At the time I would never think that "being gone" would mean the complete opposite of the thoughtful, compassionate, adventurous and unique father I once loved.
Though I do feel emptiness that I lost my best friend and dad, I gained strength and knowledge - I have learned so much about what is really important and myself & I am a stronger and wiser person because of the experiences I have endured.
So, in a way I have also changed. Goes to show anyone can change, but it is only through his own desire. I would never try to change someone - I know firsthand that it would never work. I had begged, cried, screamed, fought, gave ultimatums, I tried everything to try to urge my father to get help... I didn't even ask for perfection, just progress...one little step at a time in the right direction.
One good decision at a time. Nobody is perfect. But I feel that if you simplify life and focus on doing the right thing life will be more calm..maybe even close to perfect. One can only change if its organic and natural evolution within them self...if they truly want it and desire a simple, loving and overall more fulfilling life. Relish each moment and when crossroads come do what is right in your heart.

hello world!

Last year at this time I was anxiously anticipating my trip to France...and it was absolutely amazing! Nice, Aryles, Paris... One day I will go back. But in the meantime there is a whole, big world out there to explore! My next challenge is to return to Europe - this time my goal is to explore Capri! The azure waters, the bright beautiful flowers, the rolling landscape... Once I get there I may never return ...

little things

so in love. so happy. it's those little things that really show me how much he really cares. even those actions that he thinks may go unnoticed...such as carefully lifting one's head while she is sleeping so it will rest on a pillow...i absolutely love the little things...
so happy.

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”

Relish each moment. Each crossroad you encounter. It is within that moment a decision is made that shapes the type of man or woman you are. The decisions you make, the words you keep, your actions. They all shape your character.
Just like surprises or decision, loss & negativity are crossroads. " Only after disaster can we be resurrected." Chuck- You can decide to let yourself run with an average mentality and waste your emotion being sad, jealous, scared... Or you can open up to enlightenment - set your mind free (and your heart) and see what the loss for what it truly is. An opportunity.




“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.” D.Seuss

playtime

I have the worst craving.

For something raw...complex...uninhibited.. playful...energetic..enigmatic.. The world is so amazing, so beautiful.
Take a moment to people watch, click on the tv, or better yet, think about the relationships you keep..you will be surprised. It's amazing how many fakes exist.
Think of how many people you could call to get dirty, go on a hike with, climb rocks and play in the ocean with... This fake vacuums up the mystery, the romance, the beauty of the individual...it's parasitic..It's unfortunate ... but like Ghandi said "be the change you wish to see in the world.."
Learn where those laugh lines came from, get caught in the rain, run around barefoot, freckle your face in the sun, get dirty, scratch that - get filthy... callous your hands building something..
Enjoy life's surprises and battles each and every day.
Because where is the beauty...or the fun..when the journey without the excitement of the unknown?

I thought I saw you yesterday
But I didn't stop cause you was walking the opposite way
I guess I could have shouted out your name
But even if it was you I don't what I would say
We can sit and reminisce about the old school
Maybe share a cigarette because we both fools
Chop it up and compare perspectives
Life. Love.Stress.and Set backs
Yes'
You could tell me how hard you had it
And you could show me all the scars to back it
And we can analyze each complaint
Break it down and explain these mistakes I make
I like to tangle up the strings of the puppetry
But you knew me back when i was a younger me
You've seen [[me]] in all types of life
And I've been meaning to ask you if I'm doing alright
I'm Shook
I know
I pushed when I should of pulled
Took it all back if I could I put that on my soul
And I would make a top notch good listener
If you could block off a little time out to give it here
Since we went our separate paths
I hit a couple of snags
That remind me of the past
I cant front I'm having a blast
But damned if I ain't afraid of how long its gonna last
Sitting here wishing we could kick it
Gimme your opinions I do miss the criticisms
I didn't mean to be distant
Make a visit
Ill wait up and keep the coffee brewing in the kitchen
But who am I jokin' with
Theres no way that you and I will ever get to re-open it

It doesn't matter this is more then love

And when you left I didn't see it coming
I guess I slept it ain't like you was running
You crept out the front door slow
And I was so self-absorbed I didn't even know
And by the the time I looked up, it was booked up
You put it all behind you, the bad and the good stuff
A whole house full of dreams and steps
I think you'd be impressed with the pieces I kept
You disappeared but the history is still here
Thats why I try not to cry over split beer
I can't eve get mad that your gone
Leaving me probably the best thing you ever taught me
I'm sorry, its official
I was a fistful
I didn't keep it simple
Chip on the shoulder, anger in my veins
Had so much hatred, now it brings me to shame
Never thought about the world with out you
And I promise, I'll never say another bad word about you
I thought I saw you yesterday...
Looked just like you
Strange things my imagination might do
Take a breath reflect on what we've been through
Or am I just going crazy cause I miss you

*atmosphere

promise

"promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best.
forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you."
.christian d. larson.

epiphany

after spending a lot of time editing my closet yesterday i realized that i waste a lot of energy, and never mind hard earned money, on clothes. i boxed the clothes (for my sister and for goodwill)...and i am adding something to it - my focus on material goodies. signora!

thinking about how i got to this point where i waste so much on materials i chuckle... the old erica would have scoffed, pink hi-lights falling into her eyes, as she returned to "the bell jar" or sketchbook, headphones blasting...

Tyler put it best, "The things you own end up owning you."
why bags - nobody wants baggage, i am happiest when i am barefoot - clothes... well.. you get the picture..

the point is to be free. you have your passion and your health - what else is there? On a deeper level you have to ask yourself, are my possessions my selling point? Do i have nothing else to offer... And if so, who are you selling to? Obviously if the friends you keep judge upon the car you drive or the bag you carry then you both really suck.

the most sexy is rolling out of bed, throwing a sun dress or a pair of jeans on, and slipping into flip flops... jumping into a car and just taking off on a trip - no baggage...no ties.

so goodbye excess baggage...hello challenge time! the hunt is more fun - thrift stores, vintage...hell maybe a playful attempt at sewing - who knows!

so my boxes are sealed. challenge set. free is sexyyy

hello again real erica - except this time no pink hair

..yet


[Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler.] this is prob my fav part of Chuck

wall chic

lately my browsing has switched from shoes & clothing to decor and cookware - I recently redid the wall - transforming the plain white into arched tree branches & blue birds - I will post picys - I promise!

I thought this was really cool - I really like her use of various languages and the simplicity of the black and white..

LOVE languages by Jennifer Ramos - MadeByGirl on Etsy!

Discovery! Carla Caruso

On a recent visit to the Rhode Island School of Design Art Museum I discovered Carla while par oozing the museum gift shop. The star button necklace was exsceptionallyy beautiful- hammered stainless steel and delicate yellow gold...upon retuning to my office I found her website showcasing her unique and gorgeous wearable art... Take a peek!




I love the simplicity and romantic infinity symbolism - it's clean design makes this perfect to wear everyday...



I don't wear much yellow gold jewelry - but the way that the non-typical diamond ring is fun. The way the diamonds are stacked really makes this ring exquisite - the arrangement of the precious stones draws you in, in a rare & playful way...





Check C. Caruso out at RISD Art Museum or at http://www.carlacarusojewelry.com/?p=home

xxoo

la mer collection

I absolutely love this feminine & edgy watch... so I ordered it! ;) They have amazing colors and even chain watches. Enjoy! xxoo


PS: Enter "lamer2010" and get $30 off!

you.

We are the kings and queens of Providence

So...it has been quite a while since I have written. But then again, there have been a lot of exciting changes in my life since late 2009.

Let's see - right before Thanksgiving I had to make a big decision. I had to decide where I was going to live! I had a few few options: relocate to a new apartment in Worcester, move back home (not really an option) or move to Providence, RI with my boyfriend. I found myself really evaluating my life. A 24 year old college graduate, living in Worcester, who had committed 2 years to a manufacturing company in hopes of getting ahead and bettering herself, aka not be a receptionist, but was still in the same position as when she started. It was time for a change.

I moved to Providence. The rational part of me promised myself I would just commute until I find a new job. Even if I waited tables or did make-up, it would be better than working for the previous company answering phones... I wasn't respected, I discovered things and people in the company that disgusted me, and I knew that there was no happy future if I stayed. I knew I was worth so much more and I deserved to give it to myself.

I did the hour long commute for weeks and weeks. I kept my move a secret. That is until a bad snowstorm hit and I was 3 and 1/2 hours late to work. It was that moment that I decided it was time for a change. I knew I had to share my secret with my supervisor, and good friend. It was that same day that I submitted my letter of resignation.

As I handed in the letter a wave of relief came over me. It is official. The next chapter of my life had unfolded. Though it was blank I was still giddy with excitement. In my heart I was committed to a new future. No more "corporate" office drama no more "just a receptionist" - I felt so free to have taken a full leap towards a better future.

I drove, worked and searched for a job. Two weeks passed and still nothing. Like any break-up there was some drama... Some people told me I was out of my mind to quit in such a bad economy, but I knew in my heart it would all be ok. Others gave me a wink and and encourgaing "you're too good for this..." or "You deserve better..." I liked when those people visited my desk.

My last day at the old company was a Monday and I had spent the last few weeks submitting my resume, following up on leads and signing up with placement agencies. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday...I had interviews every day, some days there would be 2 or even 3 interviews. By the next week I had numerous job offers... My confidence boosted & my thoughts progressed from "just finding a job" to really thinking, "What am I passionate about?..what is my ideal job?"

I had always wanted to work at a college, like I did years ago at Assumption. I did try to attain a position at a college- as an Admissions Counselor, while I was working. But time passed, life went on and I became comfortable with what I was doing. I just accepted the routine and went along with my day to day schedule.

Now I had the opportunity to go for my dream of working at a college; of being part of an institution and contribute to a community of professors, students, families - to be part of something bigger than just day to day corporate drama. I went after it- sharing my ideals with the agencies and whoever would listen.
I still went on all of the interviews that I could find, just in case I didn't find my ideal position.
A week had passed and I still haven't committed to a job. I was waiting on the final offer letter from one company when I got a call about a position at RISD -Rhode Island School of Design! My stomach dropped. This was it. This was my chance to pursue my dream. The door was open and all I had to do was show them what I am about and my passion.

And here I am today. I am proud of taking that risk. I went against the odds and not only found a job, but THE job for me. People said that I couldn't do it, I would be begging for my job back, that I was making a huge mistake... I tuned them out.

It's your life... If you listen to anyone but yourself then you will be following their path - when you realize you're on the wrong path you jump to another, maybe someone else's... You will never be happy that way.

I recently read my sister's blog about love. One of the most important foundations in love is loving yourself... If you aren't true to yourself you will never discover true love. If you don't love yourself - then you will never be able to fully love someone else. I am discovering a new city, learning a new position, meeting exciting people and also new Erica.
I feel that I am more in tune with who I am today than ever before; remaining true to my values and following my heart. It has set me free. I love myself now, more than I ever have before. And it's an amazing affair :)

I haven't a clue what I have in store for 2010 - or where I will be a year or 5 from now, I just know that things can only get better. That the rest of my life is the best of my life and my only plan is to make it beautiful.