awakened

::the adventures of Skippy & Prudence::

dream weaver

When I was a little girl my mother and I could interpret my dreams. Early morning I would wake up and jump into her bed, nestling under the covers. No matter the hour of morning, she would promptly retrieve the worn green hard-cover dream dictionary that she stored away in her nightstand. Sitting there anxiously I would divulge what I envisioned as she peeled through the yellowed and brittle pages, looking up the symbols and reading aloud their meaning. As a child I was so intrigued to hear what my dreams meant... as Masters in Psychology it was a far more than a bonding method for my mother, she could actually discover what was running through her little girl's mind.
Lately I have been waking up recalling more and more dreams. It's been more than 15 years since the times when I could jump into bed and ponder over the dream dictionary with my mother...So now I must settle for Googling Dream Meanings... Nonetheless it is still surprising and exciting to read what dreams mean and locate a common thread between the conscious and the subconscious.

The other day I had adream that I was at a pet store lovingly watching over a box housing small bunnies of all colors. As I was standing there I felt a nudge on my leg and I looked down to find a small and energetic puppy looking up at me. Oh yea- it was a great ream! :)
When I looked up those two elements I found this:
Rabbit: To see a rabbit in your dream, signifies luck, magical power, and success. You have a positive outlook on life. Alternatively, rabbits symbolize abundance, warmth, fertility and sexual activity. The dream can also be associated with Easter time and your own personal memories of Easter. To see a white rabbit in your dream, symbolizes faithfulness in love.
Puppy: To see a puppy in your dream, symbolizes your playfulness and carefree nature. It also represents a blossoming friendship or that your friendships will grow stronger.

Last night I had a dream was a little freakier. All I can remember is standing before a mirror and smiling back at my pearly whites. Then slowly, I began to bleed - I remember being alarmed but not scared... odd.
Teeth: To dream that you have rotten or decaying teeth, forewarns that your health and/or business is in jeopardy. You may have uttered some false or foul words and those words are coming back to haunt you.
To dream that your teeth is gleaming, signifies happiness and fulfilled wishes.

Blood:To see blood in your dream, represents life, love, and passion as well as disappointments.
To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood, signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends.
Mirror: To see your own reflection in the mirror, suggests that you are pondering thoughts about your inner self. The reflection in the mirror is how you perceive yourself or how you want others to see you. You may be contemplating on strengthening and changing aspects of your character.


Of course I don't take these dream meanings literally and whole-heartedly. However but I do find them interesting, especially when they link aspects of my thoughts and life as a common thread. Lately, I have really appreciating and celebrating the value of slowing down and not taking life, and myself, too seriously. I admire those who have perfected the "art of doing nothing"- savoring each moment and enjoying the beauty of imperfection and spontaneity...just letting everything fall as it may. The more I read about love, life, culture, happiness - the more enlightened I feel; realizing my own individuality, balance and happiness..
carpe diem xxoo

Tale as old as time...

This weekend was fantastic! Saturday my family came to visit me and we went out to my favorite place for brunch - Nicks on Broadway. It meant so much for them to drive down here and spend the day with me showing them where I live, work and play. Valentine's Day I felt so sick - but I was still happy! While I was napping Andrew surprised me by not only setting up a chair for my desk, but he also left me a enormous card (I think it was the biggest one ever made) and a stuffed money who makes kissy noises. I was so surprised! I feel so lucky that I have such a thoughtful and caring boyfriend. In the evening we attended Beauty and the Beast - it was so whimsical and so amazing! Even though I felt wretched, I am so happy that I was able to stay for the whole show. The lights, the orchestra, the dancing - it was all so romantic.

I can't seem to stop thinking about the show and the meaning of the story. I think that it is true - that someone can transform to a different person. Some would disagree, coining the term "a leopard doesn't change it's spots..." I strongly disagree. Men and women are not leopards. Throughout the centuries we have evolved - from cavemen to ladies and gentlemen - it's cultural evolution and the beauty of being a human. We have the capacity to mature, to learn and continue to better ourselves to be an individual that we are proud of being.
I have witnessed first hand the transformation man can undergo- how a person can truly change. But, in this instance it was for the worse.
My father was my best friend; We were so close and he knew everything about me. Whether we were running our daily 5 miles, scouting in the woods, fishing, kicking the soccer ball- we were inseparable... Then it all fell apart. He lost his job, distanced himself, and transformed into this stranger... I went off to college but because at-home-chaos I returned the next semester... I felt obligated to live at home and be there for my mother and help my sister cope with her issues. My father and I never regained our friendship. He started drinking more and more. Continued to lie... cheat...steal...etc. He is in the worst place right now and still hasn't reached his rock bottom. I will spare you the details...
It has been 7 years since he changed from my father and best friend to someone I don't even know, someone who I am fearful of... I haven't seen him in years and I don't know if I ever will.
Despite all of the bad that has happened I am not bitter. I reminisce the good times and I am thankful for everything he has taught me. I remember times when I would jokingly ask him why he is teaching me how to change the oil in the truck or cut down trees with a chainsaw, and he would pause and smile, responding, "Because if there comes a day I am not here I need you to be able to take care of the family."
I will never forget his words. At the time I would never think that "being gone" would mean the complete opposite of the thoughtful, compassionate, adventurous and unique father I once loved.
Though I do feel emptiness that I lost my best friend and dad, I gained strength and knowledge - I have learned so much about what is really important and myself & I am a stronger and wiser person because of the experiences I have endured.
So, in a way I have also changed. Goes to show anyone can change, but it is only through his own desire. I would never try to change someone - I know firsthand that it would never work. I had begged, cried, screamed, fought, gave ultimatums, I tried everything to try to urge my father to get help... I didn't even ask for perfection, just progress...one little step at a time in the right direction.
One good decision at a time. Nobody is perfect. But I feel that if you simplify life and focus on doing the right thing life will be more calm..maybe even close to perfect. One can only change if its organic and natural evolution within them self...if they truly want it and desire a simple, loving and overall more fulfilling life. Relish each moment and when crossroads come do what is right in your heart.

hello world!

Last year at this time I was anxiously anticipating my trip to France...and it was absolutely amazing! Nice, Aryles, Paris... One day I will go back. But in the meantime there is a whole, big world out there to explore! My next challenge is to return to Europe - this time my goal is to explore Capri! The azure waters, the bright beautiful flowers, the rolling landscape... Once I get there I may never return ...

little things

so in love. so happy. it's those little things that really show me how much he really cares. even those actions that he thinks may go unnoticed...such as carefully lifting one's head while she is sleeping so it will rest on a pillow...i absolutely love the little things...
so happy.

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”

Relish each moment. Each crossroad you encounter. It is within that moment a decision is made that shapes the type of man or woman you are. The decisions you make, the words you keep, your actions. They all shape your character.
Just like surprises or decision, loss & negativity are crossroads. " Only after disaster can we be resurrected." Chuck- You can decide to let yourself run with an average mentality and waste your emotion being sad, jealous, scared... Or you can open up to enlightenment - set your mind free (and your heart) and see what the loss for what it truly is. An opportunity.




“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.” D.Seuss